Pre-med or Dead

“There are three types of pre-med students that I see: The ones that don’t do the right things because they are doing it for the wrong reasons, the ones that do the right things, but for the wrong reasons and the ones that do their own thing for their own reasons. That third type of group is the most rare and they are the ones that go to the top schools.”

Malcom Gladwell has an interesting book called "Outliers" on the subject of success, which is typically defined in pre-med circles as attending an Ivy League undergrad, a top 10 medical school, and then landing a competitive residency. It seems, however, success is a group effort; personal motivation and intelligence only take you so far.

In my personal observations, there are singularly unique categories of pre-meds, some annoying, some friendly, and some that should come with a sign, "Befriend with caution."

The neurotic one:

* Will ask everyone for help during lab and with class assignments, and will not offer any in return.

* Will call multiple people with the same question despite hearing the same response; they just want to make sure. They also somehow found your number from a friend’s friend.

* They will ALWAYS say they did not perform well, but will end up getting the highest grade.

* Knowing they have received the highest grade, they will ask other students what they got just to see how everyone else fared.

* These are your future medical school gunners

Diagnosis: Best for academic medicine or radiology

The smart one:

Knows what they are doing, keeps quite or to themselves, asks intelligent questions in class, and finishes lab is three hours because they know how to work efficiently.

* A-sians tend to fall under this category.

Diagnosis: I hope you're my doctor.

The stupid one:

There is one in every circle. You look at them and know immediately they will not make it. They are characterized by an inability to answer simple questions like “What is a nucleotide?” If given the right mentorship, the stupid one can transform into a smart one.

Diagnosis: Will not make it. DNR.

The suck-up:

Average pre-med who feels the need to ask the professor personal questions and get to know them intimately just to ask for a recommendation.

Diagnosis: Will unfortunately make it.

The pretentious one:

This is the smart one with zero motivation. They talk intelligently and seem to understand the material, but when it comes to test time, they perform at or below average.

* B-sians tend to fall under this category.

Diagnosis: Your typical lop-sided applicant. All will depend on extracurricular activities and MCAT.

“My daddy is a physician:”

These kids are usually smart, but totally unmotivated and in science for the wrong reasons. They go to Four Seasons for dinner, to the spa for relaxation, and then study if there is time left from all the socializing.

Diagnosis: May or may not make it, depending on daddy's connections and salary

Becoming a physician to work for “Doctors Across Borders:”

These humanitarians are really only interested in medicine to do DAB. Once they enter the dehumanizing world of science and lab work, they quickly realize that there are other ways to channel their Mother Theresa penchant.

Diagnosis: Will not make it