ps=bs

For your entertainment, a conversation with my friend:

Friend: How's your PS?
Me: ps=bs
Friend: exactly

The beauty of the equation is twofold. It, for one, brings forward the incredulous idea of putting myself on paper in 5300 characters. It's also a thinly veiled insult that highlights the poppycock that is my personal statement.
Confessions of a thesaurus abuser: I looked up a synonym for crap because "crap" sounded so prosaic. At least poppycock ignites the imagination.

And now I shall take this opportunity to exact vengeance (not really). Why you ask? I am inspired by this:

Dear Life,

When you give me lemons, I shall them rub in the open wounds of my enemies.

Sincerely,

Thinking outside the box

When I posted the ps=bs equation on SDN, accompanied by a sincerely desperate request to read my personal statement, I received many helpful responses, and then there was this response:

Originally Posted by Longshanks

You would have a stronger, more convincing PS, if you improved your attitude towards the application process and took this opportunity seriously.

Mind you, this person has never met me, not even sure if they have read the blog to get some sense of who I am (insert self-deprecating yet ever lovable Asian pre-med bordering on quarter life crisis), and they meted out judgement, just like that. I guess I should have seen it coming. Internet is not a place for nuance.
Point of reference: Senator hopeful Deutsch's twitter debacle

Evidence 7: I was relieved to get an 84 (80 + 4-pt curve) on my Anatomy test. An Asian would be crying right now, blaming the misalignment of Venus and Mars.
Evidence 8: It's June 14th, and I still haven't submitted my primary AMCAS application.